I've been toying with the idea of making a blog for years. It's been at least 8 years in the making. I've asked myself so many questions over the years such as "who would listen? from what perspective and voice should I try to connect with listeners? what should be the frequency?" It's been alot of questions and contemplation.
Over time, I have posted and deleted many a blog, and maybe this one will be deleted too. But as of right now the reason for this particular sharing is because I have realized the most important thing in this newly embraced paradigm: I was holding in my truths.
Not just a little bit either, but almost to the point where it becomes a pain. Holding in or holding back constantly is not a healthy choice. Withholding stagnates and stunts growth and creativity. This realization was all I needed to reconnect to "me" in my fullness.
I no longer prioritize the importance what others may think over the importance of my very own thoughts. I care what I think, and I don't mean this in a senseless way. I am shifting the weight and importance of others and their opinions in keeping with maintaining my authenticity.
I am definitely not an insecure type, but I genuinely care whether ones and ones are enjoying themselves. I am my best self when others are at their best.
However, in this new re-emergence I will certainly be forthcoming with my fruits, regardless of the external voices and opinions. I may be a bit abrupt, and definitely can see myself learning, growing and unfolding in a truly authentic way. I won't mince words, and I do not apologize for my thoughts and emotions. I own it all, I am accountable. I give thanks for this ability to self reflect, to grow, and to do the shadow-work. It is an ever constant growth cycle. One I hope to not retrograde in.
Authenticity without offense, honestly has been my challenge. But now that I have let go of the "no offense" part, I am freed. I know my most sacred circle along with the Most High and universal energies have my back.
This is my table. Real. Solid. Capable of holding the heaviest plates, but much more enjoyable with good and real people sighting up life with you.
Just putting it all on the table, so to speak.